Sending My Very Heart

Sending My Very Heart

It’s time for school to start again. I always start homeschooling so enthusiastically. Maybe in a few months I will write about all the times I went into my husband’s office and said, “I quit.”

But for now, I want to talk about those of us who have or are sending our precious ones off to the USA for college. I have sent off five boys and one girl, and I have one in three more years that I will send off. That is where my title comes from: sending off my very heart.

So everyone sends off their teens to college. Why are ours so different? I have thought about that. Maybe it’s because they will be two thousand miles away in another country. Maybe this is the first time they have ever soloed. I think most of all, I have experienced or heard about other TCKs who have really struggled at this point in their lives, and I dread it for my son or daughter.

I can honestly say that I sent Jay off, my firstborn, without a qualm. I knew he was a talented, good, and hardworking boy. When his struggles started, my bubble of “no problem” burst.

So, what is the solution?

There is no “solution.” Children have to grow up and become adults.

There is no “solution.” Children have to grow up and become adults. TCKs and their parents face their own set of unique challenges. I don’t want to say problems because “problems” mean there is a problem. Growing up is not a “problem.” Every child is different; each will face his/her own adjustments. Maybe for the next few weeks we will talk about some ways that I have found helpful or have heard others say helped their TCK not feel like they’re “being dumped off in America by my parents,” as one TCK told me years ago.

For the present, pray, pray, pray, pray. You may be leaving your child, but God isn’t! My six children are out of college. Each one struggled; each one survived…and survived well. God sent help always by the hand of our brothers and sisters in Christ. I owe so much to so many people. It seemed that each child got their own special person to help them in the USA. Have faith in God. This is His will.

Here is a passage that, when I read it years ago, made me think, “Paul, you know! You know what it is like to send off a dear one…to unknown circumstances.”

“I appeal to you for my child Onesimus….I have sent him back to you in person, that is, sending my very heart….If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me….I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand, I will repay it….Yes, brother let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.” Philemon 1:10, 12, 17, 19, 20

Are you a TCK or do you know a TCK? What are some of the potential challenges you see yourself/them facing as you/they return to the US?

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