Will a TCK Ever Fit In?


Lilly was perusing a local church’s website. There were photos  of groups of young people having fun.  “I can’t even imagine being there in that group!” she mused.

She is two years away from this being a reality, and she is scared.  How will she ever fit into this group who knows all the rules, all the names, all the nuances.  “How will I ever fit in?”

I had to agree with her. She probably never will fit in with the average teen group. Their backgrounds have been too different.

BUT, there is a group that fits her perfectly.  Everyone needs support. She will find friends for life (FF) among her own kind, TCKs.  They will accept each other’s foreignness, just as they have been doing all of their lives.

So having a goal of being like everyone else in your home country is not a good or realistic goal for a TCK.   Rather, just like parents in their host country, TCKs must learn the rules and embrace “new/home” country.  They should not forget their past, or hide it, but know the ones who will best understand TCKs are other TCKs.

One thought on “Will a TCK Ever Fit In?

  1. It is hard. I do think it has to do with personalities, too. My boys were in elementary school when we returned. Adjusting to the culture wasn’t really hard, but socially they were very immature. They didn’t know how to approach other kids, talk with them, etc. After 4 years they are better at that, but one is still pretty immature socially. The oldest has adjusted the best, oddly enough.


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